Miscarriage and stillbirth are devastating losses that too many families endure in silence. These experiences often leave grieving parents feeling isolated, confused, and heartbroken. As a midwife, mother, and someone deeply rooted in supporting maternal wellness, I want to hold space for these conversations to offer compassion, education, and gentle guidance through the pain.
The Silent Heartbreak: How Common is Pregnancy Loss?
Pregnancy loss is more common than many people realize, yet remains so heavily stigmatized. According to the March of Dimes, about 10–15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, usually within the first 12 weeks. Stillbirth, the loss of a baby at or after 20 weeks of pregnancy, affects about 1 in 160 pregnancies in the United States.
Behind each of these statistics is a family reeling, adjusting to a future that suddenly looks very different.
Navigating the Grief
The grief following miscarriage or stillbirth is profound and unique. It's not just the loss of a baby, it’s the loss of dreams, milestones, names picked out, and futures imagined. It's okay if your grief feels complicated, delayed, messy, or cyclical.
There is no “right” way to mourn, but there are ways to cope that might support your healing:
Coping Strategies:
-
Allow yourself to grieve: Don’t minimize your pain. Journaling, crying, talking to a trusted friend or therapist - whatever you need - is valid.
-
Create ritual or remembrance: Lighting a candle, planting a flower, naming your baby, or crafting a memory box can be therapeutic acts of love.
-
Connect with others: Connection, whether through support groups, online communities, or friends who’ve experienced loss, helps reduce isolation.
-
Set boundaries: It’s okay to decline baby showers, avoid triggering conversations, or take a break from social media.
-
Seek professional help: Grief counselors or perinatal loss therapists can provide invaluable support in navigating complex emotions.
Gentle Self-Care Through the Storm
When grief consumes so much, basic self-care can feel impossible, but nurturing yourself, even in the smallest ways, is a radical act of healing.
-
Hydrate and nourish your body. Even just warm tea and toast are enough.
-
Rest... true, deep rest, without guilt.
-
Move slowly. Go for walks, stretch, or sit in the sunlight.
-
Soothe your senses: Baths, warm compresses, essential oils, and soft music can help your nervous system relax.
-
Ask for help. Let loved ones bring meals, watch your kids, or sit with you in silence.
You are allowed to be held while you heal.
A Gentle Offering: The Comfort + Care Box
In response to the need for gentle nurturing during these deeply vulnerable times, I’ve created the Comfort + Care Box. It’s a curated gift set with healing in mind, intended to be a supportive gesture for mothers who have experienced miscarriage or loss. This set includes:
-
A 12-pack of Iron Boost Herbal Tea to gently replenish your body
-
A Lavender Essential Oil for calming aromatherapy
-
Relaxing Bath Salts for emotional and physical release
-
A Refreshing Body Mist to revive and rejuvenate
-
One or two gemstone bracelets offering gentle energetic support
Each box is packed with prayer and care, and a portion of every sale goes toward maternal wellness initiatives.
You can explore it here:
👉 Comfort + Care Box on Etsy
To all who have experienced loss: I see you. I honor your story. You are not alone in this.
If you have questions, need a listening ear, or just want to share your story, my inbox is always open.
With so much love,
Carley
Licensed Midwife | Owner of Careha + Co.